"At the end of the day, I want to know I acted as the peacekeeper I am."

Larissa Kaye Batten (llbeara@aol.com) writes "Soul Food," a weekly column for SpiritSite.com.  

Larissa is a prolific writer whose work has been featured in several publications, and is the Director of Miracle Animal Rescue (site will open in a new window).

I am a peacekeeper.

I remember red, white, and blue plastic toy soldiers lined up to do battle – child’s play. Plastic pieces arranged in battalions according to color. Little boys’ hands pushing soldier against soldier to win the war against another boy’s plastic. Winner takes nothing. Peacekeepers take all.

My former husband plans to march in a peace rally. I am at a perfect peace with him. Love and peace have transcended all else. We are not ex’s. We are, "why would you engage in war when you can know peace?"

After all, I am a peacekeeper.

A message of peace cries out in my morning meditation.

If you do not hear peace in the world, bring peace to the world. You are one small atom in a million, but you are whole and that is enough to bring peace to the world. You have a peacekeeper within.

I recall a prayer by Saint Francis that moves me deeply.

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me bring love."

I have a peacekeeper within.

A peacekeeper. I remember "Cowboys and Indians." Kid games. Who was the peacekeeper then?

I cringe. Sometimes I just cannot stand someone. He irritates me to no end. I want to scratch and claw and lose my temper.

"Are you alright?" I can choose to ask.

I am a recovering spectator. I paid a high price to sit on the sidelines. I do not give much to the world when I point my finger at it. Look at all those losers. Creating terror. Beginning wars. Murdering men.

A bag of M&Ms on the sidelines doesn’t ease the pain. I am a peacekeeper. My energy makes a difference. Lovingkindness is contagious. Peace is, too.

~~~

"I will get in the boxing ring and keep getting knocked down until I can’t stand up anymore," I told a friend once about my relationship with my boyfriend at the time.

Much later, the answer arrived. Why get in the boxing ring at all?

I despised my former husband for leaving. I created conflict with everyone and everything around me, most especially my spirit within.

I beat a tree with a hammer. I visited the emergency room after cutting my finger with a metal broom that I felt the need to bang on a plastic create. I spewed out words I thought were long gone from my vocabulary. I hated the world. I hated life. I hated the God of my understanding. I just plain old hated.

I prayed every single day for my former husband. I prayed he would be given everything I wanted. I prayed and prayed and prayed. And forgave.

I allowed myself to continue to love him. I continue to love him. Love is freeing. It frees me from the shackles of conflict.

I picture myself standing amid the toy plastic soldiers. I am a deserter. I have left the sidelines. I am in the middle of war.

I bring peace to a world of war. Peace energy is contagious. Maybe I will only touch one soul with my loving attitude today. What if that one person planned to start a war tonight?

Recently, I stopped my car on a highway to pull a dead dog out of the road. A truck stopped immediately behind me. The man hurried to me.

"Is that your dog?" the stranger asked.

"No, but I don’t want to leave it in the road."

"I agree," the man said. "Let me help you."

"Don’t worry about the tarp I’m using," I explained. "We can carry the dog on it. Then we’ll drape it over her."

"Alright," he agreed. "My wife loves animals, you know."

We chatted as we pulled the dog to a line of bushes.

"Do you mind if I say a quick prayer," I said. It wasn’t really a question.

"That’s fine," the man said.

I leaned down near the dog’s ear and whispered a prayer.

I looked up when I was finished.

The man wore a look I did not understand right away. Then I realized. He had wanted to pray with me.

"I’m sorry," I said, "I didn’t know if you are a praying person or not."

"I am," he said.

For the five minutes our paths crossed, the peace of one of us and the peace of the other and the peace of the animal joined.

Wars in other places didn’t matter. We all knew wars go on. But why stand on the sidelines when we can create and build and spread and carry peace wherever we go?

I can’t stop the world from going to war. But at the end of the day, I want to know I acted as the peacekeeper I am. It is simple to be kind to a loving person.

It is one thing to march in a peace rally. It is another thing altogether to be the peace I want to see. Gandhi suggested we be the change we want to witness in our world.

The next time someone wants to engage me in conflict, I would like to remember that conflict is a denial of love.

"Bless you," I might say. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Call me a flower child. Or call me a peacekeeper. I am a steward of this earth, as one friend likes to remind me. A steward is a keeper, he likes to remind me. I pray to remember to keep the peace. For I am a peacekeeper.

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