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"Soul Food" Column featured at SpiritSite.com is copyright (c) 2000 by Larissa Kaye Batten.  All rights reserved.
 


"In all honesty, I have been too preoccupied building my own castles to witness the light and spires of those around me."

 

Larissa Kaye Batten (LLbeara@aol.com) writes "Soul Food," a weekly column for SpiritSite.com.  

Larissa is a prolific writer whose work has been featured in several publications.

Larissa Kaye Batten, "A Place to Pray"

I ate dinner last night with a Jehovah's Witness. We both ordered flounder stuffed with crabmeat, country vegetables, and "smashed" potatoes.

He prays in a Kingdom Hall for Jehovah's Witnesses, and I pray at a Unity Church. He is Australian, and I am American. He has one sister, and I have one brother. He knocks on people's front doors to carry God's message, and I have always shut my front door on people who do.

I grew up joking with family and friends about Jehovah's Witnesses.

"Who's at the door?" my mother might say.

"Nobody," I would answer. "Just another Jehovah's Witness."

Of course it might have been a door-to-door salesman; the man who conned my mother once into buying meats from his truck; the girl scouts selling us another year's worth of our favorites (mint, of course); or the kid whose car I hit on my way to school one morning at the end of our own driveway.

I can just imagine my mother asking me today who I ate dinner with last night.

"I went out to dinner last night, Mom."

"That's nice, honey. Who did you go with?"

"A Jehovah's Witness, mom."

"You're kidding."

"No, of course I'm not. Why would I be kidding?"

"Of course you're kidding. Why would you have dinner with a Jehovah's Witness? I thought they only come to the front door to convert people."

How can I argue with my nice Jewish mother about Jehovah's Witnesses? After all, I grew up shutting the door on anyone who might be one.

"Listen mom, I have to go," I would say finally.

"What did you talk about with this Jehovah's Witness?" my mother would ask. She and I have never been good at ending conversations. We usually say goodbye a good five times.

About this Jehovah's Witness: have you ever had dinner with one? For that matter, have you ever sat down with someone from another faith -- Jew, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, nun, monk, Mormon? If you haven't had the pleasure of dining with someone from a different faith, let me tell you about my dinner.

We went to Steamer's on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. We sat down at the table in the non-smoking room and talked a little. We looked at our menus. We ordered a water and coke, respectively. We looked at our menus again. We ordered and talked some more.

Now I didn't know that this new friend of mine is a Jehovah's Witness. But I love people, and I love to learn about them. I love to ask intriguing questions, and I love to listen to the answers. So when I did find out I was having dinner for my very first time with a Jehovah's Witness, I started in with my usual 10,000 difficult questions.

"I'm sorry, I don't really know anything about Jehovah's Witnesses. How would you describe the main beliefs of a Jehovah's Witness?"

"Well," my friend started. "We basically believe that all of our answers are in the Bible."

I can't remember how exactly he told me this or what exactly he said afterward, as I was more surprised than anything.

The Bible? Jehovah's Witnesses read the Bible? Well I'll be darned. I thought Jehovah's Witnesses just knock on doors all day. I never gave much thought to what they study and what they believe. I was too busy shutting my door on whoever I thought might be one.

"How do Jehovah's Witnesses feel about people of other religions and faiths?" I asked a little later, somewhere between the flounder and the check.

My friend paused to think. Good for him. I'm the type who answers a question before I give it a moment's thought. I just like talking too much to waste any opportunities to speak.

Jehovah's Witnesses, he explained, believe that they have the answer. People of other faiths, as I understand what he said, need to hear what Jehovah's Witnesses have learned. Hmmm. Sounded like a lot of other religions and faiths to me.

"I'm not sure what the word is," I said. "I don't know if it a hall or a church or what, but where do Jehovah's Witnesses pray?"

"In a Kingdom Hall," my friend answered.

I proceeded to tell my friend that I would be happy to drive him to a Kingdom Hall during his visit if he would like to meet some Americans of his own faith.

My friend appreciated the offer, though he didn’t respond affirmatively.

Jehovah's Witnesses pray in Kingdom Halls. Jewish people pray in synagogues. Some people pray in mosques, others by a wall. Some pray outside, and some by the sea. Some pray in temples, and some in tents. Some pray by their beds, and others in chapels. Some pray in churches, and others by the dying. And some do not pray.

Why did I grow up joking about shutting the door if a Jehovah's Witness rang the doorbell?

Okay, granted, I have never been comfortable when someone has tried to inflict his or her own beliefs on me. But of course I never would have known if Jehovah's Witnesses even do this. No, I was too busy closing my door.

Have you ever had dinner with a Jehovah's Witness? Do you ever share meals with people of other faiths? Have you ever invited a friend or stranger of a different religious background to pass the potatoes or cauliflower at your dinner table?

Personally, I have never – until now – considered having an interfaith dinner party for the sake of learning and sharing. Once in a rare while, I have taken a friend to a synagogue to a Jewish service. Recently, I invited a few friends to visit the Unity Church where I live. But I have never given much thought to inviting someone to dinner so I can learn about his or her foundation of faith.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not looking for a new religion or a new set of beliefs. I am very grateful for my own. But I want to admit that I have never given much time or thought to exploring the faith and traditions of my fellow humans.

After my dinner, I realized something: A place to pray is a place to pray.

My faith is the foundation of my life. Everything else is a castle I build upon it. But in all honesty, I have been too preoccupied building my own castles to witness the light and spires of those around me.

Whether church, synagogue, mosque, temple, tent, house, or outdoors, a place to pray is a place to pray.

Maybe I do not share the beliefs of my fellow castle builders, but certainly I share the desire for faith.

Not too many will argue that religion through the centuries has been used by some as a reason to divide countries and peoples. Religion has been used in many instances to create an illusion of separateness. I, myself, have been known to fall for this illusion. I have closed my door on opportunities to learn about people of other faiths in order to protect my illusion and to keep myself "safe" from people who are "different."

Perhaps the walls of all our castles look different from the outside, but inside do not we all stand on a foundation of faith?

What is a castle without a door, what is a door that never opens, and what is a heart that never opens the door?

My stuffed flounder was really good last night, but it was nothing compared with the conversation I shared with my friend. I highly doubt I will remember the food for much more than a few days. But certainly I will remember how for one night I opened the front door of my castle to a fellow journeyman.

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