you're afraid to be alone, it means you're afraid of your thoughts."
I Need Your Love - Is That True?, Part 3
The Thought That Kicks You Out of Heaven
The thought that kicks you out of heaven could be "I'd be a little
more comfortable if I had a pillow." Or it could be "I'd be
happier if my partner were here."
Without that thought, you're in heaven—just sitting in your chair,
being supported and being breathed. When you believe the thought that
something is missing, what do you experience? The immediate effect may
be subtle—only a slight restlessness as your attention moves away from
what you already have. But with that shift of attention, you give up the
peace you have as you sit in your chair. Seeking comfort, you give
What if you did get a pillow? That could work (if you have a pillow).
You may find yourself back in heaven again. It may be the very thing you
needed. Or you could pick up the phone and convince your partner (if you
have a partner) to join you, and maybe he or she would actually arrive.
And perhaps you would be happier, and perhaps you wouldn't. In the
meantime, there goes your peace.
The thought that kicks you out of heaven doesn't have to be about
comfort or happiness. It could be "I'd be more secure if . .
." or "If only it could always be like this," or it could
be just the thought of a cup of coffee. Most people are so busy making
improvements they don't notice they've stepped out of heaven. Wherever
they are, something or someone could always be better.
So, how do you get back to heaven? To begin with, just notice the
thoughts that take you away from it. You don't have to believe
everything your thoughts tell you. Just become familiar with the
particular thoughts you use to deprive yourself of happiness. It may
seem strange at first to get to know yourself in this way, but becoming
familiar with your stressful thoughts will show you the way home to
everything you need.
Getting to Know You
When you begin to notice your thoughts, one of the first things you'll
see is that you're never alone. You're not alone with your lover or with
anyone else; you're not even alone with yourself. Wherever you go,
whomever you're with, the voice in your head goes with you, whispering,
nagging, enticing, judging, chattering, shaming, guilt-tripping, or
yelling at you. When you wake up in the morning, your thoughts wake up
with you. They push you out of bed and follow you to work. They make
comments about people at the office and people in the store. They follow
you to the bathroom, get into your car when you do, and come back home
again with you. Whether or not someone is waiting for you at home, your
thoughts will be there waiting for you.
If you're afraid to be alone, it means you're afraid of your thoughts.
If you loved your thoughts, you would love to be alone anywhere with
them; you wouldn't have to turn on the radio when you get in the car, or
the TV when you get home. The way you relate to your thoughts—that's
what you bring to every relationship you have, including the one with