"When we hit bottom, when we are confronted with the realization that we can no longer continue our addictive activities, many of us begin for the first time to find what we have been searching for."

And we frequently feel a pervasive restlessness, a desire for something more. This yearning takes us into destructive or self-destructive relationships, activities, or substance use that may seem temporarily to provide the missing piece. Rationalizing or denying the implications of our conduct, we go back for more and more. At first, our sexual encounters, eating binges, use of alcohol or other drugs, gambling, or other potentially addictive behaviors seem to satisfy us. I have heard many people say, "When I took my first drink or my first drug, I felt that all my problems were solved. I was home."

A woman who grew up in an alcoholic home recounts that as a child, she vowed never to touch alcohol, having experienced first-hand its devastating potential. Finally, as a young bride, she gave in "because my husband drank, and I didn’t want him to be lonely." With her first glass of wine, she said, "A whole new world opened up to me. I realized what I had been missing all my life. At that moment, I felt complete."

Eventually, we find ourselves caught in a ruinous addictive cycle that threatens our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. We can no longer control our relationship with whatever substance, activity, or relationship we have chosen as the answer to our problems. We think about it incessantly, plan for it, and habitually participate in it. We become increasingly helpless when faced with the object of our obsession, until something forces us to change.

When we hit bottom, when we are confronted with the realization that we can no longer continue our addictive activities, many of us begin for the first time to find what we have been searching for. By surrendering, by releasing our old, ineffective ways of being, we slowly discover acceptance, love, inner harmony, serenity, and a sense of fulfillment. These qualities do not develop all at once. It takes time, courage, patience, willingness, and a great deal of attention. But once we gain a sense of the possibilities, we readily commit ourselves to a new life.

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