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Excerpted from Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping. Copyright 1997 by Colin Tipping. Excerpted by permission of Global Thirteen Publishing.  All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. HTML and web pages copyright by SpiritSite.com.

"This particular pain has arisen many times before in different situations, but, because you didn't recognize the opportunity, it never got healed."

Colin Tipping, Radical Forgiveness, Part 6

She looked at me long and hard. "What do you mean?"

"Work it out for yourself," I replied. "What other similarities do you see between that situation with Dad and my daughter and your current situation?"

"Well, let's see," said Jill. "Both girls have the same name. Both of them got or are getting what I don't seem to be able to get from the men in my life."

"What?" I enquired.

"Love," she said in a whisper.

"Go on," I urged gently.

"It seems that your daughter, Lorraine, was able to get the love from Dad that I couldn't. And Jeff's daughter, Lorraine, gets all the love she wants from her Dad but at my expense. Oh, my God!" she exclaimed. She really was beginning to understand now.

"But why? I don't understand why. It's a bit frightening! What the hell's going on?" she asked in a panic. It was time to put the pieces together for her.

"Let me explain how this works," I said. "This happens to be a perfect example of what I was talking about earlier when I said that beneath the drama we call life lies a different reality. Believe me, there's nothing to be frightened about. When you get how this works, you will feel more trust, more security and more peace than you ever thought possible. You'll realize how well we are being supported by the Universe or God, or whatever you want to call it, every moment of every day no matter how bad any given situation seems at the time," I said as reassuringly as I could.

"Seen from a spiritual standpoint, our pain and discomfort in any given situation provide a signal that we are out of alignment with spiritual law and are being given an opportunity to heal something. This may be some original pain or perhaps a toxic belief that stops us from becoming our true selves. We don't often see a situation from this perspective, however. Rather, we judge the situation and blame others for what is happening, which prevents us from seeing the message or understanding the lesson. This prevents us from healing. If we don't heal whatever needs to be healed, we must create more discomfort until we are literally forced to ask, 'What is going on here?' Sometimes the message has to become very loud, or the pain extremely intense, before we pay attention. A life threatening illness, for example, provides a loud message. Yet, even when facing death some people don't get the connection between what is happening in their lives and the opportunity for healing it provides.

"In your case, what has come up to be healed this time is your original pain around your father and the fact that he never showed you love. Your current pain and discomfort are about this issue. This particular pain has arisen many times before in different situations, but, because you didn't recognize the opportunity, it never got healed. That's why having yet another opportunity to look at it and heal this issue is a gift!"

"A gift?" Jill questioned. "You mean it's a gift, because there's a message in it for me, one that I might have gotten a long time ago if I'd been able to see it?"

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