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"Anger,
irritation, annoyance, or resentment: You feel that someone is treating
you unfairly or trying to take advantage of you." |
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David Burns,
The Feeling Good Handbook, Part 3
The list on pages 6-7 illustrates the connection between your
thoughts and your feelings. Study this table carefully. It will help you
understand why you’re in the mood you’re in, and this can make it
easier to change the way you feel.
|
Your Thoughts and Your Feelings |
|
Emotion |
Thoughts that lead to this emotion |
|
Sadness or depression |
Thoughts of loss: a romantic rejection, the death of a loved
one, the loss of a job, or the failure to achieve some important
goal. |
|
Guilt or shame |
You believe that you’ve hurt someone or that you’ve failed
to live up to your own moral standards. Guilt results from
self-condemnation, whereas shame involves the fear that you’ll
lose face when others find out about what you did. |
|
Anger, irritation, annoyance, or resentment |
You feel that someone is treating you unfairly or trying to
take advantage of you. |
|
Frustration |
Life falls short of your expectations. You insist that things
should be different. It might be your own performance ("I
shouldn’t have made that mistake"), what someone else does
("He should’ve been on time!"), or an event ("Why
does the traffic always slow down when I’m in a hurry?"). |
|
Anxiety, worry, fear, nervousness, or panic |
You believe you’re in danger because you think something bad
is about to happen – "What if the plane crashes?"
"What if my mind goes blank when I give my talk in front of
all those people?" "What if this chest pain is the start
of a heart attack?" |
|
Inferiority or inadequacy |
You compare yourself to others and conclude that you’re not
as good as they are because you’re not as talented, attractive,
charming, successful, intelligent. "She’s really got what
it takes. She’s so cute. All the men are chasing her. I’m just
average. There’s nothing very special about me." |
|
Loneliness |
You tell yourself that you’re bound to feel unhappy because
you’re alone and you aren’t getting enough love and attention
from others. |
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Hopelessness or discouragement |
You feel convinced that your problems will go on forever and
that things will never improve. "I’ll never get over this
depression," or "I just can’t lose weight and keep it
off," or "I’ll never find a good job," or "I’ll
be alone forever." |
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