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Excerpted from Building Your Field of Dreams by Mary Manin Morrissey. Copyright 1997 by Mary Manin Morrissey. Excerpted by permission of Random House, Inc.  All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. HTML and web pages copyright by SpiritSite.com.

"But if she wanted to pray for me, I wouldn't object."

Mary Manin Morrissey
Building Your Field of Dreams
, Part 1

Choosing: Deciding on the Dream

"A dream cannot come true unless you dream that dream."

-- Oscar Hammerstein

My son John was just under a year old when I collapsed with a life-threatening kidney disease. The shame and guilt resulting from my unplanned pregnancy had continued to fester to the point that my toxic feelings literally poisoned my body. Tests revealed that my right kidney, ravaged by infection, was sending waste throughout my body, while the left kidney was failing quickly. The doctors gave me six months to live.

The night before I was scheduled to have surgery to remove my right kidney, a minister named Dr. Mila Warn visited me in the hospital. My mother-in-law had heard her preach, and she had asked Dr. Warn to stop by and talk with me.

"Maybe she can help," my mother-in-law told me.

I was doubtful. Even though I'd grown up going to church, I hadn't attended services for the past few years, and I didn't for a minute believe a minister could do anything about malfunctioning internal organs. But if she wanted to pray for me, I wouldn't object. At least, I told myself, a new face would help pass what I anticipated would be a very long evening.

The first thing Dr. Warn did was hand me a pamphlet containing the teachings of Emmet Fox. It was called "The Mental Equivalent." She pointed to a passage that read:

"Whatever enters into your life is but the material expression of some belief in your own mind. The kind of body you have, the kind of home you have, the kind of work you do, the kind of people you meet are all conditioned by and correspond to the deepest mental concepts you hold."

Great, I thought. So my bitter thoughts had killed my kidney, and now they were killing me. It was my fault I was dying. Somehow I didn't feel terribly comforted.

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