"Life is not about controlling and forcing things. It’s about power, the power to choose how to use your energy."

When you send an intention out into the Field, you place an order with the cosmic QVC. When you opt for force, you set a tone that often gets played out to your disadvantage. For example, if at dinner with your family you dominate the conversation with your concerns about an upcoming vacation, a nice meal can become a family battle, ending with cries of "I didn’t want to go anyway!" from the kids. If you create a "force field" at work, people become more focused on who messed up rather than on how to fix or learn from the mistake. Hidden agendas surface that conflict with overall objectives. This also shows up as funky communication with family and friends. Instead of a spirit of cooperation and partnership, each person views the other as an obstacle or, even worse, as an adversary.

You know that force is being used when a conversation with your best friend, who always seems to understand you, suddenly derails and you both leave feeling "off." Other symptoms of force include micromanaging, suspicion, and negativity, which I’ll describe later in more detail. Clearly, these things feel bad and don’t work too well. Knowing this, why don’t we always opt for more powerful behaviors? Because force is familiar, and we forget we always have a choice.

The New Way of Being: Power

Life is not about controlling and forcing things. It’s about power, the power to choose how to use your energy. When you’re operating in that paradigm of control over others, you experience a low ROE, because it’s impossible to control others or their reactions. You may get temporary spurts of high ROE, but ultimately, you’ll always land with a low ROE because you can’t control outcomes. When you operate from a place of power, controlling only yourself and your actions, you’ll always have a high ROE, because you’re staying awake and making good choices. You can control those choices. That’s all you can control. When you’re in that place of power, you are fully, consciously connected to the Field and will reap its benefits that much faster.

When you try to control, you get entrenched in right and wrong, do’s and don’ts, and ego-based thinking, engaging on a lower-energy level and creating a false sense of power. Your real power lies in your ability to use your energy to connect with other people and the potential that brings. This isn’t the same as force. According to Hawkins, "Power gives life and energy. Force takes these away." I always felt justified in hounding Patrick for his reports, and it didn’t feel good to either of us. When you make high-energy choices, you are able to move through the heaviness and burden of a situation and access wisdom, no matter how difficult the circumstances. You are able to cope with challenges and get back in balance quickly. At work, meetings end on time, you reach consensus, and there is a flow of positive feelings. At home, there’s more harmony. Making high-energy choices creates an atmosphere of trust and well-being that’s contagious and spreads to your personal relationships as well as to your work teams. There’s no space for vengeance or retaliation, making it easier to deal with tough issues. Picture yourself as the eye of the hurricane: you have all sorts of outside pressures frantically whirling around, yet you remain calm. You can begin right now to tap your real power.

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